Cooking with Sam n' Ella
A Funny Story
Chapter 1.   You Say You Want a Resolution
Chapter 2.   Sounds Like A Plan
Chapter 3.   Breakfast In Bed
Chapter 4.   Look For A Book
Chapter 5.   Last Lunch
Chapter 6.   Stocking Up
Chapter 7.   Opa!
Chapter 8.   Ready…Set… 
Chapter 9.   Building Friendships
Chapter 10.  Work That Body
Chapter 11.  On The Air
Chapter 12.  Sweet Dreams Are Made of These    
Chapter 13.  Crunch Time
Chapter 14.  Walkin’, Yes Indeed, We’re Walkin    
Chapter 15.  Recipe for Success
Chapter 16.  Free Day 
Chapter 17.  Weigh To Go
Chapter 18.  Shop Til You Drop
Chapter 19.  La Cena…the dinner
Chapter 20.  Uncharted Territory
Chapter 21.  A Real Dollhouse
Chapter 22.  Pack Your Bags
Chapter 23.  On the Road Again
Chapter 24.  Going to Graceland
Chapter 25.  Family Reunion
Chapter 26.  On The Air…Again! 
Chapter 27.  What’s A Muffuletta?
Chapter 28.  Dream A Little Dream Of Me
Chapter 29.  In Dog We Trust
Chapter 30.  We’re Going the Wrong Way
Chapter 31.  Texas and Taos
Chapter 32.  Mucho Margaritas
Chapter 33.  Up, Up and Away
Chapter 34.  The Magnificent Micelis
Chapter 35.  Discovering Taos
Chapter 36.  Eating in Paradise
Chapter 37.  Pinch Me
Chapter 38.  Heading Home
Chapter 39.  Sweet Home Chicago
Chapter 40.  All Together Now
Chapter 41.  That’s A Wrap
 Chapter 2.    Sounds Like A Plan

    The glasses and wine cleared from the table… friends all safely on their way home… Sam and I washing dishes… by hand. We have a pretty fabulous commercial style kitchen with state – of-the-art everything. Scads of stainless steel counters and shelving (keeping things out in the open helps keep you organized), Eight burner stove with griddle and grill, two ovens, two broilers, built-in deep fryer…hmmmm, that could be part of my problem. A walk-in pantry that sleeps three and a refrigerator that can hold an eighty pound pig without having to move any shelves. We have every modern, commercial contraption except a dishwasher. I find doing dishes very ‘Zen’. We do have a 95 inch sink with three deep bins and a drying rack. It’s been used to wash everything from babies to dogs to dishes. I’ve always enjoyed doing the dishes with Sam after a dinner party. Time to talk… reflect… digest. And tonight, especially we need lots of time to digest… reflect… and TALK!
     “So, Sam, that was quite a surprise resolution you popped on me tonight and very nicely timed, I might add. Pretty hard for me to freak out and yell and scream at you at the top of my lungs what with all the neighborhood to witness it.”
     “Thank-you my dear. I like to believe I’ve learned a little bit about you and women in general during our years of wedded bliss.”
     “I know you like to believe that, but you certainly let that knowledge fly out the window when it was time for my resolution, didn’t you?”
     “Yeah, what was everyone getting all worked up about, Ella? I was just saying how fabulous I thought you looked.”
     “Oh no you don’t. There will be no changing the subject from your resolution to mine.”
     “But, Ella, you’re the one who brought…”
     “Never mind, let’s focus our fight to one subject. By the way you’re slowing me down. You need to dry faster… I’m running out of room for the glasses.”
     “I have a towel on the counter behind you for you to put the glasses on.”
     “You mean you’re letting them air dry… you know how I hate spots. If we don’t dry them…”
     “Focus, Ella, Focus.”
     “Focus. Right. Thank-you. What the hell are you thinking? Planning a trip of this magnitude without me and under the guise of a Sam n’ Ella book. What else have you been doing behind my back? And when do you even find the time to do anything behind my back… we’re always together.”
     “Is that a complaint?”
     “No, just a comment. And the boys… they may both be grown up and moved out, but they still need their Mama. I can’t be dying in a fiery crash.”
     ‘Mama’ is what both boys have called me since they first began to talk. Come to think of it, that’s what most babies call their moms…’mama’. In fact I believe it’s usually their first word. But my boys never graduated to Mom and nothing could be more endearing. Brandon, who is twenty-two, a commercial deep-sea diver with tattoos covering half his body, calls me every day his job allows and begins every conversation with “Hi Mama.”.
Jesse, our fiercely independent twenty year old, who is in film school in California, and gets visited by us probably more often than he would like, by car, of course, greets me by running toward me , no matter who is around, yelling ‘Mama”. It’s truly a sight as he is a six foot six red head. It’s as if I’m being attacked by a giant leprechaun, until he envelopes me and Sam in his arms in a wonderful hug. Not many kids can hug both parents at once, but with Sam at five foot eleven ( he’ll tell you six foot) and me at five seven…to Jesse…we’re midgets.
      Brandon and Jesse hugging is a completely different story. Brandon did not get the height in the family. He is, and will tell you, five foot, ten and three quarter inches. Not many people bother with the three quarter inch thing but he’s not about to round up to five eleven and lie, nor is about to ‘sell himself short’ by saying five ten and a half… especially since his ‘little brother’ is not so little. There is a great love between our boys and when they see each other, it begins with a hug which starts with true, brotherly love, but if you look closely the hug becomes tighter and tighter, with possibly tickles and gut punches and before I know it I’m yelling at Sam to break them up. Brandon is such a little scrapper and loves to prove that he can still take his ‘little bro’ down.
     “Ella, that’s the beautiful part of this surprise.”
     “What? Oh my God, I was just thinking about the boys. Remember how they used to try and stay up until midnight on New Year’s? I can’t be flying across the ocean, possibly orphaning them, never seeing…”
     Ella. The boys are going to be meeting us in Italy.”
     “What are you talking about? Brandon is in the middle of the ocean off Africa for God knows how long and Jesse doesn’t even take the summer semester off.”
     “Well they have both rearranged their schedules to be with their ‘Mama”, and they will be joining us in Italy for the last two weeks of our trip.”
     “Are you kidding?”
     “Nope.”
     “And they both knew this when they talked to me earlier tonight to say ‘Happy New Years’?”
     “Yep. They’ve known for weeks. I had to make sure they could swing it, otherwise I’d have no way of convincing you to go.”
     “I had no idea I was surrounded by men who can lie to me so easily.”
     “Ella no one was lying to you.”
     “Oh, hi Brandon… what’s new? Nothing?  I’d say all of us going to Italy was new.”
     “I made them promise not to tell. I wanted to get all the details down before we told you and it just so happened I got everything pinned down in the last few days. In fact, ready for this? We’re going to be doing a few shows from Italy… on television.”
     “What? We don’t do television. I’ve got a face for radio.”
     “Oh Ella, stop it. You are one of the most beautiful women on earth.”
     “…the other ones being? No wait, don’t tell me. Keep it a secret… you’re so good at that.”
     “I know you’re only attacking me because you’re being fueled by your fear of flying and that’s O.K. We have plenty of time to work that out. The point is, our boys will be spending two weeks with us. When’s the last time we had two whole weeks as a family? And we’ll be doing a television show. It will air in Italy and here simultaneously. And the fact that you have refused to do television for all these years has only made the networks and our fans want us more. Not only is our entire trip being taken care of… with what we’re being paid per show, we could get a little winter place in the Bahamas. And trust me you have a face for television.”
     “O.K. then I have a body for radio.”
     “Oh, Ella. So you want to lose a few pounds. What’s the big deal? When did that start bothering you any way?”
     “Let’s see. Forty-nine pounds ago. Twenty-three years ago. Tonight seeing little Miss Goodbody flaunting it all through dinner.”
     “Honey, I don’t know Sheila that well, but I don’t think she was flaunting it.”
     “Sam, when you’re one hundred eighty-five pounds… everybody’s flaunting it.”
     “Wow. One hundred eighty-five. I must say you carry it well.”
     “Thank-you. That’s what my doctor said last week when I went in for my annual. My blood pressure is higher than it’s ever been and she thought it was time to let go of a few pounds.”
     “Ella, why didn’t you tell me? How high is it? You’ve always had such low blood pressure. Let me do those dishes.”
     “Calm down. I’m fat, not pregnant. It’s only one twenty over eighty. It’s just that it’s always been so low… you know two over one. So she asked about my exercise routine and my diet and if you can believe this… running to the store to get groceries is not considered aerobic.”
     “Well not when you take the car…I imagine not.”
     “So, I guess I was keeping something from you too.”
     “I’ll say. I never knew you were so unhappy about your weight. But besides your mental state, if your doctor thinks it’s an issue, we’re going to take care of it.”
     “That’s great, Sam. If you could work out for me Monday, Wednesday and Friday, that would really help.”
     “Ella, you know what I mean. I’m there for you. I will support you in every way I can. I’ll drive you to a club. Heck I’ll even work out with you if you want.”
     “No, I got here on my own and I’ll get back on my own. Besides you haven’t got a reason to work out. You haven’t gained a pound since we met. You know I hate you for that.”
     I’m sorry. So what’s your plan?”
     “Well, tomorrow morning I’m going to go over to the bookstore and peruse the weight loss section, buy a book and then go join a workout club.”
     “Sounds like you’re on a mission. I may join you if you don’t mind… at least for the bookstore part. I’m going to get a book on Italian phrases and start learning a bit so we can speak to the natives once we get there.”
     “Just enough to get us into trouble?”
     “That’s the plan.”


Sam N’ Ella’s Recipe for a Happier Life…

SPRINKLE: secrets sparingly. Secrets amongst true friends rarely tend to bring you closer. And by no means spring it on them in public like Sam did to me…if you think they’re not going to like what you have to say…have the guts to do it in private. I hope you’re reading this, Sam!

 

 
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